I was asked to host a shower at the bride’s parent’s home. Do I include the Bride’s parents on the invite?
I was asked to host a co-ed wedding shower for one of my best friends. After I began planning, the bride asked me if I would hold the party at her parent’s home. I already know that it’s a faux pa and that the mother of the bride shouldn’t hold a shower for her daughter because it looks like the family is asking for presents for themselves. I voiced my concerns and was shot down. The bride said it would mean a lot to her mother if she could have the shower at her home since the bride’s parents aren’t helping with the cost of the wedding. I reluctantly agreed. So here I am trying to draft up the invitations: Do I include the bride’s parents on the invitation as hosts since they were so adamant about having it in their home? Or should I say that the bridal party is hosting because it’s generally accepted to be rude for the bride’s family to throw her a shower?
It is OK to have the shower wherever you want it to be, even at the parents house. The Mom and Dad are not the hosts, you are. They are not paying for it, so everything is OK etiquette wise.
Yes, include the Mom and Dad on the invitation list, even if it is at their home. The invite will be a keepsake for them. Save a stamp and give it to them, if you wish.
And yes, you do the inviting on the invitation. If you are sharing costs with the rest of the bridal party, then their names go on the invitation, too. If not, just yours.
You are invited!
to a co-ed wedding shower for Erica Jones and Jim Michaels
October 20, 2010 at 11am
at 1815 4th street, Lisbon, KS 48494
Dress is casual, luncheon and dessert will be served
Hosted by Jessica Smith phone number here.
RSVP by October 13th is requested.
Please bring one heirloom recipe on a 3×5 card, to be made into a recipe book for Erica and Jim
You do not have to mention the parents at all, even that the shower is being given at their home. And if Mom and Dad want to contribute in a small way to the shower, I don’t see why not. Just as long as you are the host, your name is on the invites, and the RSVPs go to you, and you are putting out the most money. They could get out the family china to use, or Grandma’s silver tea service, or perhaps purchase the cake or the game prizes.
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